Post Game Mess Conference: Dolphins Lose to Buccaneers

Buccaneers 30, Dolphins 20

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Question 1

Answers

John: Just to stab us in the heart one final time.

DPirt: To epitomize life as a Dolphins fan; just when you think it can’t get worse, it does.


Question 2

John: We accept it by not going to any games and we don’t want to fix it.

DPirt: South Floridians get so hammered at the clubs that you don’t entirely comprehend how bad the teams are.


Question 3

John: Ourselves, to figure out why we’re still rooting for this god-awful team.

DPirt: Just keep telling ourselves we’re the only team to go undefeated and that it still matters 45 years later.


Question 4

John: I can explain it by begrudgingly admitting that we probably don’t have so much talent.

DPirt: When you have a locker room that’s had bullying scandals and coked up coaches, it becomes a mystery that Sherlock Holmes couldn’t solve.


Question 5

John: Listen, you know the answer to the second part.  The traffic in Miami is just bad.

DPirt: A traffic jam sounds a hell of a lot better than watching Ryan Fitzpatrick torch our defense.


Question 6

John: Well, we suck, we don’t have Luck, and we have no luck.

DPirt: I’d say it’s pretty lucky that we’ve won four games.


Question 7

John: And the answer is always lower.

DPirt: In football, the lower man always wins.


Question 8

John: Then? Back to Normal.

DPirt: They honored Ajayi’s downhill running game by having the run game go downhill all day.


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